well. things kinda suck rn don't they?

i mean, lets start off with the good. for a while there we thought we would have to put down my wife's old dog, he's 10 and a half and he has a lot of pain, but the vet was able to perscribe something for him and we're hoping that helps him out, and otherwise they said he's healthy. also we're getting close to being able to live in our new house, it's all coming together pretty well and i'm excited to be able to have friends over and show them what we've made.

but other than that. well. it's pretty shitty isn't it?

i'm giving myself today to feel like garbage about what happened in the states, so here's what i'm feeling:

1) ive seen a lot of 'lol thank god i'm not american' and 'it doesn't matter who won the election because both candidates are garbage' and i just want to say if that's your takeaway from all this: get fucked. real people, people like me and my friends, are going to be in much, MUCH worse off positions because of this. some of them might die. the lives of american minorities matter as much as anyone else. people of colour, genderqueer folks, queer folks in general actually, religious minorities, disabled people, women, poor folks, all of these groups are going to have to fight tooth and nail to stay alive in the coming years. and it sucks major ass. also, if your takeaway is well i'm not american so who cares? a) you sound like and asshole and b) the global rise of fachism is everyone's problem, shithead.
2) we're going to make it through this. progress will keep moving. us minority groups wont be getting anywhere, and we're going to keep holding each other up through this whole thing. we're going to exist. and that's a radical act of defiance in the face of people who want us to dissapear. existing as joyfully as possible is the most radical thing you can do to spite the people who want you to not exist.
3)i've been thinking about my place in all this. my wife is someone who puts herself at the front of the line, helps to organize the protest, gathers and spreads the upsetting information. a lot of my friends are that person, they're able and very willing to be the people who loudly demand a change. i'm passionate about making a change as well, but i'm softer than that. i'll be at the protests, i'll be there to raise up the voices of my non-white friends, and i'll do what i can to make a better world. but organizing is exausting to me, reading about how horrible things are upsets me, and i'm not as able to turn that upset and anger into forward movement. anger and depression motivates some people, but it grinds me to a halt. but what i can do is make bread. what i can do is welcome my wife home from her hard day of making small, incremental improvements and make a space for her to recover. because the people who make the big moves and say the big things need safe places too. they need to rest to be able to have the energy to continue. burning out is not helpful to anything. so i can help stave that off. i can do the cooking and the cleaning behind the scenes so that the people who are doing the hard, forward facing work have less on their plate. i can be a support, helping to hold up who needs holding.

anyway, that's my thoughts. i hope they make sense, and i hope everyone is taking care of themselves today. caring for yourself is something incredible. i fully believe that and i will continue to care for me and my friends in defiance of the shitstorm that wants us to lay down and die. we will never. we will continue to support each other. we won't go quietly, we'll stand up loudly and know we have strength in numbers.

also, i'm really feeling like this blinkie: thats all. be good babes, love you.

aslkdgjajnba;fddskabaoi i slept in my bed in my new house last night!!!!! it's so nice not to sleep in a bed with a hole in it.

(the slats under our current bed are broken on my side so the matress is resting on like... the shelves that are underneath the bed. it's really not great and it hurts my back)

i'm so excited to live in the house full time!! i'm hoping to do the big move this weekend. We just have so much shit and also we have to make sure the pets can be in the house without fuckin shit up, and also make sure they'll be safe. in the meantime we're still mainly with my inlaws, but asldkga;ga i can't wait to not be.

one thing i'm worried aobut is that we don't really have anything to put our furniture in yet. and also our bedroom is kinda small, so i'm not sure how we're gonna fit everything in there once we do get the furniture. but tbh i'd rather have a big bed than more space to walk around in the bedroom. it's like, i'm just there to sleep and get dressed in the morning anyway, so it's fine if there's not a lot of space to like, hang out. and i'm sure we'll figure out the layout and get it all sorted.

today i'm going to be organizing the dining room too and making sure that we can set up the dining room table in it. and also doing the same to the kitchen. also maybe finishing painting the dining room? idk there's so much to do still and it's like... gah can it just get done?? _(:°з」∠)_

also, fun fact, my father in law cut the cable line we had our wifi connected to, so now we don't have wifi to the new house until tomorrow when the guy shows up to put a new line in. he feels really bad about it lol and like, it's fine, just kinda annoying. but it'll be fine

we're getting a new couch too soon and it's so comfy i'm so incredibly excited to be able to have nights where i rot into those cussions ( ∩´͈ ᐜ `͈∩)

also it's my wife's birthday on friday and like... with everything going on i don't think we've actually planned anything really. which is... not great on my part (°ー°〃) i definitley should have planned something but it's been crazy over here. like so much nonsense going on a;lgkabnavad and it snuck up on me (◞‸◟；) gonna toss something together tho!! it's gonna happen (•̀ ᴗ•́ )و

i feel like i need to make myself a kaimoji database for all the ones i like to use all the time. i love them so much hehe esp when the font makes them look kinda skrungly

anyway time to get lunch!!